


Cut Out The Pieces

by Alexithymiac



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Autistic Neil (Camp Camp), Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Love/Hate, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:33:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22275640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexithymiac/pseuds/Alexithymiac
Summary: Harrison loves Neil, they go on walks, sneak out of camp activities, kiss by the lake while their supposed to be asleep. They're a couple after all, or at least Harrison thought so.They never clarified it, or said it out loud, or told anyone, but they were together, right?It should've been easy to answer, but the underlying issue that made these thoughts so much more painful to think about, was just the simple fact that lately Neil doesn't seem to want anything to do with him.
Relationships: Harrison/Neil (Camp Camp)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 38





	Cut Out The Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so baked and I'm so   
> fucking sick, so sorry if this is trash. I just want to write Neilson so bad right now.
> 
> Also Harrison is so sure everything's his fault and that hes trash cause of how his parents treated him  
>  (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

Harrison loves Neil, they hold hands and go on walks, sneak out of camp activities, kiss by the lake while their supposed to be asleep. They're a couple after all, or at least Harrison thought so. 

They never clarified it, or said it out loud, or told anyone, but they were together, right? 

It should've been easy to answer, but the underlying issue that made these thoughts so much more painful to think about, was just the simple fact that lately Neil doesn't seem to want anything to do with him.

It didn't start off this way, at first when they started being 'involved' Neil was nice to him, even when they weren't alone. They sat next to eachother and held hands under the table while Nail chatted about with Max and Nikki. Harrison talking to Preston as he sat beside the short Native boy, messing with his hair and teasing him every so often.

It was peaceful, and it was one of the most lovely things Harrison's ever experienced.

But now Neil was avoiding him, avoiding eye contact, darting the second Harrison got too close, any time the brunette actively sought him he walked away.  
It had been this way for almost a week, and Harrison was hurt to say the least.

It was late at night now, the magician sitting at the edge of the dock wrapped in a blanket as he wore only his pajamas.   
It was quiet out here, and beautiful, it made the boy feel slightly better about his predicament, and even gave him a moment of calm, to just sit and look out over the lake.

It didn't take long for his thoughts to start invading, for his smile to drop and the tears to well up in his olive eyes.

What had he done this time? How had he screwed this up? Neil was mad at him, and clearly didn't want to even have Harrison in his presence, when days before he had been holding him in his arms and kissing his head behind the magic stage. 

Harrison stared into the water, hot tears sliding down his cheeks and dripping off his chin.

He lost the one good thing life had decided to let him claim, the one person Harrison really though he had, and to what? He still didn't even know what he did. The only thought Harrison could fully process was the one telling him he ruined everything, he deserved this.  
The thought just brought out a short burst of sobs that the boy quickly shuffled into his knees.

Everything stopped when he heard a board on the old doc creak from behind him.  
Harrison turned around to see Neil slowly trying to back off of the structure, which urged him to sob louder, but he didn't.  
He probably hadn't even noticed him untill he began to make noise, of course he was trying to leave.

Harrison turned back around and burried his face into his knees, crying quietly, but actively. He would let the science nerd leave, he wouldn't be more of a nuicence to the boy and waste his time when it was clear he was already attempting to go unnoticed.

Exept Neil didn't leave.   
He moved to sit down next to Harrison, placing a gentle, yet awkward arm around him.

"What are you doing?"

Harrison croaked out sadly, his Israeli accent breaking through the days of silence between the two.

Neil's eyes darted around uncomfortably before landing on the magic kid.

"I'm. . . Comforting you?"

Harrison shrugged Neil's arm off him, getting the feeling that Neil didn't really want to touch him.

"I mean why? I know you don't want to. You can leave, don't force yourself."

Neil blinked, confused, why wasn't Harrison angry with him? Why was he being so nice to him? Why was he so damn accepting?

"I- Harrison its not that- I just don't. . ."

Neil trailed off, not fully knowing what he should say.

Harrison made a pained noise in his throat, a high pitched whine that was held back, and heart-wrenching to hear.

"You just don't really feel that way about me anymore, huh?"

He gave a dry laugh, blinking away wet tears.

"Can you at least let me know what I did wrong? Please?"

Neil pulled Harrison into a hug, firmly pressing his face into his neck.

"You did nothing, Harrison, this was not you."

Harrison just froze, not knowing what to do, Neil was hugging him, but he hadn't even spoken to him in so long. His eyes widened and he dug his fingers into the fabric on Neil's sweater.

Neil was angry, angry with himself for being the reason Harrison was beating himself up and sobbing alone in the dark.

"Harrison, you didn't do anything, you really didn't. I was just confused, I didn't really. . . Know what I wanted, I didn't really know if I liked boys, I guess in a way it was an experiment that I hadn't fully realized the full extent of."

Harrison slumped, gnawing on his lip gently.

"So it was just an experiment then?"

Neil hurried to fumble over his previous sentence, not fully thinking over it's hurtful implications.

"No! No, I like you, Harrison, I really really like you. What I mean is that I've never been with a boy before, I've never liked a boy before, I've never thought a boy was so damn pretty. I don't know what I'm doing, and I guess I got scared and chickened out again for a little while."

Harrison smiled shyly, drying his tears with his blanket and leaning into Neil lightly.

"Really? You put me through hell for that? Why didn't you just talk to me silly."

Neil turned pink and laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck before running a hand through Harrison's unkempt hair.

"Hey, it's not always that easy. Though you're right. I really should've."

He pressed a soft kiss to the Brunette's forehead, trailing his fingers through the strands at the nape of his neck.

Harrison hummed happily, looking up to brush his lips against Neil's, sealing them in a tender kiss.

"I don't really know what I'm doing either, but maybe we can figure it out together if thats somethig you'd enjoy."

Neil smiled, holding Harrison's hips gently, but firmly.

"Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?"

Harrison's cheeks tinted and he averted his eyes a bit with an unsure smile.

"Yes? If that's okay?"

Neil shook his head, sealing the neglected boy's lips in his.

"Of course it's okay. I'd love to be."

Harrison smiled and hugged him tightly, blinking away more unshed tears as he pressed his forehead to Neil's.

They stayed like that for awhile, with Neil and Harrison wrapped up in the blanket, holding eachother, exchanging a few kisses here and there.

Eventually, once it had gotten very late and cold, they had made their way to Max and Neil's shared tent, opening the zip doors to see Max fast asleep, being held tightly by Preston, who had his face burried in Max's black curls.

Harrison glanced at the clock on their shared coffee machine, that blinked 3:08 am.

They found their way under Neil's covers, with Harrison's blanket haphazardly thrown on top, they naturally melted together once more, Neil wrapping his arm over Harrison's middle and holding I close, the magicians fingers holding gently onto Neil's arm, his face against his chest.

They dosed off like that, tracing shapes into each other's skin and whispering quiet 'I love you's' into the night as they slipped out of consciousness and into a deep sleep, held in each others warm embrace.


End file.
